Searching Through the Red Sea
by KamiNytha
Summary: Tag for "Every Rose has Its Thorn" The focus is on Jane. Hints of Jisbon


**A/N:** This is a tag on "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". This episode was just very well done and interesting with plenty of important moment. That last scene especially. I couldn't just leave it alone. I know there are already some really great tags posted but mine is a bit different so I figured I might as well post it. The idea simply wouldn't leave me alone all of last night and then most of today. I'm not sure how it came out but my friend who beta's all my stuff said that she's starting to support this pairing-and she doesn't even watch the show. So that has to count for something, right?

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything and am merely boring it for entertainment purposes, namely my own.

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><p><strong>Tag for "Every Rose Has Its Thorn"<strong>

And as he tries to come up with a silly superficial answer he suddenly finds that he can't. And besides, she can tell—she can see it in her eyes. He knows she would claim that he was trying to distance himself from moving on but he knows that isn't true and he wonders if she does too. So, he decides to go with his instinct and answer honestly. "Someone I can trust...someone strong...someone at peace with themselves...someone better than me...someone who knows the worst side of me and still loves me."

And he's struck by just how honest that was and he can tell she is too. "Sounds like an amazing woman," and they both can tell that's probably the only genuine thing she's said to him.

He manages to flash a sad attempt at a smile, "She was." His mental image of Angela comes to mind with the ease of practice; he thinks of her often.

Suddenly next to Angela's proud and tall figure, another image crops up as well. He'd almost missed it. There, in Angela's shadow, was a second woman, looking as though she was born from the shadows because that was where she would shine. Hair dark, skin pale, petite, easy to miss but once he sees her he can't comprehend how he missed her.

Teresa and Angela stand there, so drastically different and yet so very similar. And then the image is gone and he's back in that studio, answering mundane questions put forth by a murderess. He quickly refocuses, knowing that she caught the few seconds he was lost in thought. She believes it to be unimportant, and to her it is. But to him, it holds all the importance in the world. However, if there's one thing he has learned it's patience and the ability to put things to the back of his mind, leave them alone and allow them to blossom on their own.

He's back in his apartment, laying on his own couch staring at nothing in the darkness because he's found some things are clearer when you have no distractions. He caught her, tricked her and while she was a worthy opponent he has won. He gets a bit of satisfaction from that and while he supposes he is a bit worried about the trial he figures that they can win. They always do.

And now as his thoughts sort themselves out, he has the free space to think about other things, things that don't include catching such a nefarious woman. With the new room to breathe the image comes back to him, back from the recesses of his mind, clearer than before.

Angela is in the foreground, wearing a simple white dress that glows against her tan skin, long blonde hair lightly curled and a gentle yet sure smile on her lips. On her left, standing at an angle, back toward Angela is Teresa. She has on a black jacket over an emerald shirt and black pants, black hair dripping over her shoulders, fair skin standing out against the dark shadows she's standing in as a light half-smirk, half-smile covers her face. Both women have their arms crossed as they look straight ahead. The blue pair seem to see straight into his soul and smile at his foolishness and yet welcome him as well. Surprisingly, the green appear to see deep into him as well, ready to roll her eyes at his next batch of tricks and bail him out, per usual.

He realizes he never quite understood the phrase "two sides of the same coin" until this moment. They are remarkably similar in ways he hadn't realized because he had been too busy noting the differences, of which there were almost as many, if not more.

He is still wondering at the interesting and, to be quite honest, beautiful picture they make when he begins to realize why the image came to him. Because while Angela was more enthusiastic to Teresa's calmer nature. And Teresa is more straight-laced than Angela, who did as she pleased, and was a bit more trusting than Theresa, who is world-weary in many ways. They really do have similarities. In fact almost all of the qualities he listed off apply to both women.

Because he does trust Teresa, to watch him, to keep him in check, to be the team leader, to shoulder the main responsibility. He also simply trusts her in general, with his life and, were something to happen to him, he knows he could pass on to her the full mantle of catching _him_.

She certainly is strong. Her own past has made sure of that, forged her into the warrior she was today. She hardly ever gives up or backs down and when she does it is normally to re-group so she could come back stronger than ever. Nothing could keep her down for long, that's just who she is.

While she has her insecure moments, along with being modest almost to a fault, she is still confident in who she is. And even if she focuses too much on what she perceives as her flaws she still accepts who she is. No matter how he tries to persuade her otherwise, she sticks to her own beliefs. She never tries to be someone she's not and so few people can say that.

And while he knows he sets the bar low, she is so high above him it's almost comical. The time and effort and parts of herself that she dedicates to her job, to helping people, to healing them is truly admirable. Ever since she was young and she poured her life into keeping her brothers above water and her father sober enough for them to survive. Not that she is without her flaws, it's just that they seem trivial compared to the rest of her.

As for the last bit... Well that's the part he feels uncomfortable thinking about. Because, really, the other points are just facts and to deny them would be an insult to her character. That last one though, that's a different story-love always is. He's not quite sure what he thinks, a rarity, or even what he wants to think or wishes to be true. Because whichever way is difficult and complicated and filled with all sorts of dangerous half thoughts that lurk on the edges of his mind.

He does know that she has seen parts of his worst side, more than he'd like, and sometimes he wonders just how much she sees. He occasionally steps back from himself and he can see how he gets when Red John is brought up. He is aware that he is mentally unstable and volatile and dangerous. And that's ignoring his everyday faults of arrogance, general rule breaking and trickery. But she's still here, working with him, seeing him every day, putting up with him and his actions. She always said he would cost her her career, but he used to think she was just exaggerating and didn't really believe that. Now he's really starting to believe that she is aware of the truth she is speaking, and perhaps she always was.

Which brings him back to the question that nags at the back of his mind every time she gets in trouble for him, takes the wrap, the blame, the punishment; why? Why is she still here? Why is she letting him stay even though she knows that this can't end well? She certainly isn't a naive woman.

And she is one of the few who tries to see past the mask, the persona he adopts on a daily basis, the one that is able to fool so many. Like Hightower, who was almost comically ignorant of his darker intentions, even Van Pelt and Rigsby have no real idea about his quest for revenge. (And even he doesn't really know what Cho thinks.) Lisbon is the one who listens and watches and doesn't trust him when it comes to Red John. She has no illusions, other than that one misconception about him choosing life over catching Red John, and has stated in just as certain terms back at him that she will try to stop him.

He knows she cares for him, at the very least as a friend, but as for more... He tries not to consider that too much because he simply has no idea as to how to respond because he has no idea as to how he feels. Before he liked to think that they cared for each and leave it at that. And yet, the more he thinks about it, the more he wonders if she does—love him that is—platonically or otherwise. Because she came to mind in the same context of his wife, with all of the qualities he deemed most important to him.

Does he love her? He doesn't know, he's not sure he wants to know. She is the most important living person to him, though, that he knows for sure. He thinks he should be startled to realize this because he's never really thought that in so many words, but he supposes he's known that ever since he shot Harding for her.

Theirs was probably the most complicated relationship he had ever been in and he was fairly certain that the same went for her. He studied her more in his mind's eye and was startled to see that the picture had shifted. Before Angela had been in the foreground, Teresa in her shadow. Now, they were equal, and while Angela's shadow still fell over part of Teresa's form, they were both in equal focus and prominence. Clearly, his subconscious knew things he wasn't aware of.

Was she really that important to him? He thought back to when he was with Angela (before Charlotte) and how his thoughts had often been split into two categories: Angela and everything else (money, psychic stuff, etc). Now his thoughts were separated into Angela&Charlotte&RedJohn and Teresa&CBI.

He's struck by another thought now; for how long has she been Teresa, at least in his mind, instead of Lisbon? As he searches through his thoughts, trying to figure out where this is all leading him, suddenly that conversation in the morning, with the sea air all around, springs to mind.

_"Did you know in seven years each and every cell is completely replaced in your body? That means you are _literally_ a different person from when we first met."_

_She considers that, "Sadder, but wiser."_

And at that moment he realizes that his words don't just apply to her. He realizes that he's a different person too.

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><p><strong><span>AN: **There you go. I hope you liked it. It started as simply the thought that those things he listed applied to Lisbon as well and the image of her and his wife standing side by side. It ended up sounding a bit similar to my other story 'Day and Night' but I can't think of a way to fix that. I'm not quite sure what it turned into but I'm pretty happy with it. The real question is: are you? Please let me know. Thanks for reading. :)

P.S. Thinking of doing something similar but focusing on Lisbon. I can't promise anything but...-shrugs- Whatever - let me know


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